My Not So Fairy-Tailed Reality

What is Cancer? Some Battle it, some survive, but either way, we all loose something: A part of ourselves. A part that can’t be replaced, given back, or made whole again. We are scared, body and soul. Though we are fighters, a part of us is still lost. Time doesn’t stop for us to heal. We may not all have the means to fix it or keep living as we have. To us,… Time has stopped. The world has stopped. Where to go, what to believe, what to feel,how to go on ; opinions that everyone can tell us as to how it will all work out, how we will get through it how it will be ok,… Yet unless that person has gone through it and can map out a path as to how; hearing those words sounds like someone comparing our situation to sitting in the bathroom and realizing you are out of toilet paper. This is not the same. This doesn’t mean we are all jumping off the Brooklyn Bridge together, but, these are the hardest decisions,… the harshest realities. The fact that we are not ourselves any longer; no one will look at us the same way, the fact that we won’t see ourselves the same way…. We are forever changed. It is, for us, the hardest pill to swallow. Some have lost their hair, some women; their breasts,others, like myself, the possibility of ever baring our own children. What ever the loss,each in themselves is a tragic loss, that we mourn like a death. Most take advantage of the small things day to day. Yet someone who has cancer or loves someone fighting the disease knows all to well that even when it is gone, or in remission, the battle isn’t over. Each day we are faced with other issues, challenges and changes to our bodies that most will never experience. All different types of treatments

Cancer

change us in some way, and we are never the same. We have, and find a strength deep within that we never knew we had. Put a smile on our face to comfort our loved ones, and reassure them we will be fine. Blood work, ultra sounds, mammograms, painful biopsies, tests upon tests; become a normal part of existing. We fight to reclaim a part of us that is trying to be lost for good, or regain a sense or normalcy when something of ours is taken away. We fight to find strength on weak days. We try to understand those that live selfishly, or who are rude and unscathed, because we know the delicate side of how precious life is, for ourself and how we treat and show respect to others. We have gone through or are going through moments where we don’t feel beautiful, or like our body isn’t even ours, and grasp on to moments that we can feel that beauty again. Beauty in the sense that we are not pretty nor ugly, but a feeling of being in control of our body and feeling comfortable in our skin again. We hold onto very tightly, the things we CAN control since we lost the ability to control our bodies.

Today I found out that my battle with staying in remission; fighting for over two years for hope, was lost. But, even though my battle is not over, and I will be here to fight along side of you in any way you need. Please know.. I feel your pain,.. I cry for you… and I am here praying for you too. So, friends, friends mothers, aunts, cousins, strangers… alive and passed; all fighting the battle together:Stay strong, stay positive, never give up and always treat today as a gift. When you wake up tomorrow, walk into the future with a feeling of hope and promise and although there are moments that prove to be less satisfactory to the idea of the life that you wish to live by, you can hold your head up high because tomorrow arrived; welcoming you into the awareness that you are the most important person in your life, and you are loved.

I Will Visit You in My Dreams…

I don’t know what went wrong

I don’t know when it changed

All I know is

I will never be the same

Having to let go

Learning to grow

But there is one thing I know

I may never be whole again

Though my heart continues to beat

And I’m relearning how to breath

For the one thing that cannot be

I will visit you in my dreams

In the story we call our own

This fight may have been won

If winning is through loss

Then the battle has just begun

Time will heal the scars

Though the biggest remain in our hearts

And even as we fall apart

Some how we continue to be strong

So when our hearts miss a beat

And we forget how to breath

At least a comfort that the night will bring

A place to visit it all in our dreams

By Erica Lynn Lacombe 10/17/2013

“As a Makeup Artist, Stylist, Writer, Fitness trainer, and yes the list goes on… to sum it all up in my world of on going artistic expression: I am in the business of Creation, Motivation, and Inspiration. Let me be you motivation, … let me inspire you,… let me help you to recreate yourself in a new light. If you or someone you love is suffering from any form of Cancer; Please feel free to contact me, any time. If you want me to hear your story, listen, give you a make up lesson, go “hair” shopping, help you get into a training regimen that your body can handle at different levels of treatment, pre, during, and post; I am but a phone call or email away to helping in your road to recovery. You don’t have to do it alone, my amazing team and myself will make things possible for you! I love you all and may God Bless you on your journey of living!”